what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
