Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
