id be glad to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
