She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
