So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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