You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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