he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
