imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
