the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
