Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
