Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
