So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
