I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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