she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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