I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize