you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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