We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
