The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
