My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
