So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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