laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
