Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I faked an abortion last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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