My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
