I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
