so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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