i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
