At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
