It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my liver is dry heaving
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
