I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
