Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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