Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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