can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
