I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
