everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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