he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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