Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
