o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
