I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
