i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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