i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
