I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
