does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
