I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
