Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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