Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
