don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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