That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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