bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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