Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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