She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
