I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
