my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize