You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
