Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
