I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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