Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize