I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
