No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Less talking, more tequila
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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