its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize