cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This couple is walking their pig around campus
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
