It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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