We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
